Congratulate someone on their retirement with this funny candle that reads "I'm retired, it's officially not my f*cking problem anymore". This candle makes a great gift for someone who just retired or decided to pursue a different dream! Plus, you can add a custom personalized message to the back of the candle.
⭐⭐ Please read for information about scent options and ordering
Brighten someone's day with a customizable soy candle! (pssst - it's way better than a greeting card!)
⭐⭐How to order a candle:
-Select which scent and size you’d like your candle
-Candles come censored as shown in the listing image by default but can be uncensored by request, please leave a note either in the personalization box or in the note to seller at checkout to request an uncensored candle (without the asterisk in the swear).
-Your candle will be made to order and shipped from our studio in 2-3 business days (Mon-Fri, excluding federal holidays). Processing times begin counting the business day after the purchase is completed; for example, for orders placed on Monday the first business day of the processing window is Tuesday, second day is Wednesday, and so on.
-No mock ups will be sent unless otherwise requested.
Limited Edition Fall and Holiday Scents:
Apple Harvest - a scrumptious blend of apple, cinnamon, clove, and vanilla; smells like freshly baked apple pie!
Apple Maple Donut - a mouthwatering blend of apple, orange, cinnamon, butter, coconut, maple, and vanilla
Balsam & Cedar - a rich, earthy blend of balsam, cedar, pine, juniper, patchouli, moss, and bergamot
Christmas Tree - a nostalgic blend of fresh pine needles, apple, cypress, cedar, and holiday spice
Gingerbread - smells just like freshly baked gingerbread; ginger, clove, cinnamon, nutmeg, sugar, and molasses
Pumpkin Chai - get in the fall spirit with this blend of fresh pumpkin, apple, cardamom, brown sugar, vanilla, cream, cinnamon and clove
Standard scent collection:
Beach Breeze - The unmistakable scents of summer: lemon, orange, ozone, sea salt, jasmine, and a light white musk (a must have clean scent for every home that needs a refresher!)
Berry Sorbet - A bright and sweet blend of ripe berries, lemon peel, sugar, cream, and vanilla
Blackberry Vanilla - A blend of ripe berries and sweet vanilla
Cinnamon Roll - Rich cinnamon notes blended with fresh dough and cream cheese icing
Coconut Mango - A truly tropical blend of mango, orange, pineapple, peach, and coconut milk
Cozy Sweater - Smells just like your favorite guy's sweater! A rich, masculine blend of Sage, Orange, Oakmoss, Amber musk, and Tonka Bean
Fresh Linens - Smells just like fresh line dried linens
Island Vacation - A blend of orange, pineapple, apple, lemon, coconut, rum and vanilla
Lavender Fields - A classic lavender fragrance
Lemon Pound Cake - A mouth watering blend of bright citrusy lemon peel, vanilla and sugar.
Sea Salt & Orchid - A spa-like blend of sea salt, ozone, jasmine, wood, and tonka bean
Spiced Vanilla Honey - A warm and comforting blend of bergamot, honey, amber, coriander, vanilla, musk, and oud
Vanilla Cupcake - A classic sweet vanilla fragrance with slight notes of caramel
White Tea & Ginger - A blend of white tea, lemongrass, orange, jasmine, with a base of orange blossom, cedar, ginger, and musk
-Personalizations submitted with this candle will be printed on the candle IN ADDITION TO the text shown in the photographs.
-Personalizations are added as a second label on the opposite side of the candle.
-The font used will be one of the fonts from the original label design. If you have a preference on which font is used (if the original label design uses more than one font) please specify which you prefer with your personalization.
⭐⭐Candle Size Information:
-Candles are measured by weight of the contents of the jar.
-3.5 oz candles are best for small rooms or for testing out a new scent. These candles have a burn time of approximately 20 hours when properly cared for.
-7 oz candles are somewhere in the middle, good for semi-larger spaces such as non-open floorplan living areas. These candles have a burn time of approximately 40 hours when properly cared for.
-13 oz candles are better for larger rooms such as bedrooms. These candles have a burn time of approximately 70 hours when properly cared for.
-Candle care instructions are included with every purchase (on the back of the business card) to ensure you receive the longest and best quality burns from your candles.
-To view differences in candle style, please refer to the listing photos.
-Reed Diffusers are available in an assortment of scents and include 10 reeds. This option is great for a constant fragrance in a small space such as a bathroom or entry way (they are not as effective in large spaces).
Typical processing time noted above is the amount of time it takes for your order to be made and does not include time spent in transit once shipped. Transit time once shipped is typically 3-5 business days - if you need your order sooner than these times allow, you may upgrade your shipping speed at checkout. Available upgrades are USPS Priority Mail (estimated 2-4 business day transit time), UPS Ground (estimated 1-5 business day transit time), and UPS 2nd Day Air (estimated two business day transit time). Please keep in mind that upgrading shipping speed does not affect our processing time. Please feel free to direct any further questions regarding processing time or specific delivery estimates to us via message.
1-3 business days
Buyers are responsible for any customs and import taxes that may apply. I'm not responsible for delays due to customs.
Just contact me within: 14 days of delivery
Ship items back to me within: 21 days of delivery
Buyers are responsible for return shipping costs. If the item is not returned in its original condition, the buyer is responsible for any loss in value.
Please contact me if you have any problems with your order.
Typically orders are processed within 3 business days (this may fluctuate due to order volume- for most accurate processing time, please check the item's description). Most packages arrive within 3-6 business days after shipping for a total estimated time to arrival being within 6-9 business days. However, transit times are not guaranteed and except in extreme cases, refunds will not be given due to packages taking longer in transit than expected.
Please see the next FAQ titled "How do I rush my order?" if you need your purchase sooner than 6-9 business days.
Transit times are not guaranteed once your package is in USPS or UPS possession, even if upgraded shipping was purchased as shipping delays do sometimes occur.
If you need to receive your order more quickly than our standard 6-9 business day time window, you may purchase upgraded shipping at checkout. The upgraded shipping options are USPS Priority Mail, UPS Ground, or UPS 2nd Day Air. Upgraded shipping options do not have a delivery date gaurantee and are *not* eligible to be refunded in the event of a delay in transit. Upgrading shipping does not affect an order's processing time.
We can completely customize our candles just for you! You may add pictures, business logos, names, sayings, etc - your imagination is the only limit. Please send us a message with your idea and we will get back to you within 1-2 business days with a mock up label.
Orders may be cancelled as long as the order has not yet shipped. Orders that have been shipped cannot be cancelled.
If you'd like to return or exchange your item, please contact us within 14 days of receiving your package for return instructions.
The buyer is responsible for all return postage costs and ensuring the returned item makes it back to us in new, unused and undamaged condition. We are not liable for return packages sent without tracking (or if the tracking number is lost/misplaced) that do not arrive. Buyer is responsbile for paying shipping both ways for an exchange.
Shipping paid on the original order is not eligible for refund and a 20% restocking fee may apply to returns.
In the event that a package is returned to us (due to insufficient address or otherwise), the buyer is responsible for reshipping charges in the amount of shipping paid on the original order.
We will contact you if your package is returned to us. Returned packages will be held for 14 days from the date we contact you. If we have not been provided with a valid address to reship the package to and/or the reshipping charges have not been paid after 14 days, the package will be treated as a return (buyer will be refunded order value less shipping paid, a 20% restocking fee may apply).
If your item arrives broken or damaged, please retain all packaging the item arrived in as well as the damaged item. Contact us within 14 days of delivery with photos of the damaged item and all of the packaging - photos are required for us to process any damaged/broken item claims. Once photos of the item and packaging have been received, we will begin the damaged/broken item claim process and ship a replacement out free of charge within two business days. Claims made without photos of the item and packaging are not eligible for a replacement item.
All current sales will be directly reflected on the item price shown.
Typically, orders are shipped via USPS First Class Mail (this may vary based on order size, and large orders may be shipped UPS).
We offer upgraded shipping options: USPS Priority Mail (estimated transit time of 2-4 business days) or UPS Ground shipping (estimated transit of 1-5 business days). Upgraded shipping options do not have a delivery date gaurantee and are *not* eligible to be refunded in the event of a delay in transit.
All orders totaling over $35 (after promotional discounts are applied and before taxes/shipping) qualify for free standard shipping - this is automatically applied at checkout.
Orders totaling over $150 in item value may be sent with signature confirmation required for delivery due to the risk of package theft.
Please do keep in mind that depending on your location and the time of year there is a possibility that slight candle melting may occur. The wax we use is 100% natural soy wax without any artificial stabilizers and has a melt point of 120 Fahrenheit - warm places such as direct sunlight or sitting in a mailbox may cause candles to reach that temperature. We suggest having your items mailed to a PO Box or a place where you will be able to retrieve them quickly if you live in a hot climate. If you're unable to have the candle shipped to a location it can be kept cool, it may be best to wait until cooler weather to place your order.
Our products are not made in an allergen-free environment.
All of our candles are 100% soy based and contain synthetically created fragrance oils. Although unscented candles can be made upon request they may still contain trace amounts of fragrance transferred from equipment used in the candle making process.
Corn-based packing peanuts may be used in packaging your order.
If you or a gift recipient has allergic reactions to any of the ingredients in these products or possible contaminants, we recommend not using any products in our store.
Jun 20, 2022
Very fast shipping! Super cute gift!